Tag: mom

Balancing Emotions in July

As I may have mentioned previously, when I create characters in my stories I try to be as thorough and specific as possible to make them interesting.  When choosing personality traits, as well as searching for my own inspiration in the real world I visit a website by the lovely Dr. Loretta Standley. She states that “Astrology is not Law; God is the Law! Astrology is ‘the rules’ and the rules are often broken.”  You can also find tons of information about holistic health, Angels, prayers and other things spiritual. Thanks to her website, I learned that the beginning of July is ruled by astrological sign of Cancer. It’s motto is “I feel therefore I am”. www.drstandley.com

I can certainly say that July has toyed with my emotions right from the start. I began the month in fear. When I woke up on July 2, I couldn’t see out of my left eye for 10 minutes.  I was terrified! After talking with my sister and making multiple phone calls, I was able to make several appointments in one week. I saw my regular doctor (who I think is wonderful even if I only see her yearly) and I visited an eye doctor for the first time (!) where had my eyes dilated (I’m pretty sure I looked like one of the PowerPuff girls afterwards). Guess who has 20/20 vision at the age of 298?  This woman!. I had an ultrasound of my carotid arteries to make sure there were no blood clots. By the end of the week, I was given a clear bill of health. My panic and fear changed to gratitude. It turns out, I had an ocular migraine, which isn’t as scary as it sounds. Most likely I slept like a monster after sitting in the sun too long and drinking one too many glasses of sangria.

The second week of July I stepped into my apartment elevator to go to work. The doors closed but nothing happened. I hit the lobby button and there was no movement. I hit the open door button and nothing happened.  I was trapped!  I was all alone in the elevator for about 40 minutes.  I wasn’t scared (that was soooo last week). I was frustrated, irritated and annoyed. One of the cool apartment managers waited outside the elevator to make sure I was okay until a technician arrived. A close friend called to check up on me, I played Words with Friends on my cell phone and my beloved sister constantly texted me until I was free. Once again my emotions were amok.  Maybe there was a reason I was delayed form leaving? What could have happened if I left earlier than planned? Would I be alive to tell the tale? Thank God I didn’t have to go to the bathroom! After dreaming up different scary scenarios, I shook the gloomy thoughts and chose to be grateful. Friends and family checked up on me. People sent me positive vibes. I thanked God and the powers that be that I was, and still am just fine and dandy.  

Week Three is my mother’s birthday.  I posted a photo of her along with my sister and myself on social media (as you can see above).  I love her smile in this photo. The Tapscott girls are happy and I’d bet a dollar my dad had a huge grin too when he took this photo.  Sadly, because of advanced Alzheimer’s Mom doesn’t know what day it is. I chose to post this picture to remind me and those who have known her throughout the years of brighter times.  Lots of friends took the time to send her birthday love. Their touching messages caused me to choke up. There were many tears of joy and pain. I have a beautiful life thanks to my mom, while today her brain betrays her. Once my  tears cleared I reminded myself to be grateful. Through highs and lows I have an amazing life that I am thankful for, every day.

As we leave the influence of emotional Cancer and make our way to feisty Leo “I will, therefore I am” , I’m especially grateful for all things great and small, and am doing my best to raise my vibration and positive energy.  Next week is my sister’s birthday. May God have mercy on our souls.

Love Notes – February 2018

Almost every day, I take a brisk walk.  It doesn’t matter what my schedule is like. I walk at work, I walk at the gym, I walk when I plan to lounge around at home, and I even walk when I’m on vacation. Why the daily ritual?  It’s a way for me to shake off any negative energy that might cloud my day.  The cardio gets my blood pumping (which is definitely needed after creating dark stories and peculiar characters, letting words spill from my brain through my fingers, onto a keyboard). I also walk because my mother’s neurologist recommends doing 30 mins of exercise a day, or two and a half hours a week to fight the chances of getting dementia.  I love walking outdoors because helps fuel creative ideas that simmer in my head and keep me healthy.

The other day as I was on my last lap around the employee parking lot (I call work my muggle job, because it’s a great place but lacks magic for me), a seagull flew up  and perched a few yards away from me. I stopped in my tracks because I noticed something peculiar about this bird, who I shall name Sammy the Seagull. Sammy held a folded up, yellow Post-It in its beak.  If I didn’t know any better, I swear that my new friend was delivering a note.  I wondered, could seagulls carry messages like Carrier Pigeons? Did Sammy have a message specifically for me? Is Twitter down?

Great questions but, no, no and no. Sammy dropped the Post-It once she figured out it wasn’t edible and eyed me for a few moments before I walked on my merry way.  The discarded note reminded me of my dark fiction novel GYPSY KISSES AND VOODOO WISHES when young Will Jalio sends a message to the love of his life.  It was short and sweet. In the story, the words inspire his true love to follow her heart. 

Last year my father shared with me a beautiful letter my mom had written over 10 years ago.  He discovered it when doing some spring cleaning.  In the letter, she told of how ever since high school she loved my dad. I already knew that Dad always loved Mom; he would tell my sister and I how he clearly remembers the day he stood in a sandbox as a little boy, pointed at her and declared “that is the girl I’m going to marry”.  We’ve seen the yearbook where he signed it “Love, always and forever”.  My sister and I have a high standard of what we look for in a mate, thanks to the love my parents share.

But this letter Mom wrote?  It was a surprise! Its honesty was endearing.  As of November 2017, my parents have been married for 50 years.  Today, Mom suffers from Alzheimer’s and doesn’t know what day it is, let alone who are her family members.  The heartfelt words, written years ago, gave my dad an extra spark of life.  He knows she loves him, even if she can’t say it often, and this discovery was a beautiful reminder that what they have is very real.

I should mention that all notes don’t have to be romantic.  I constantly try to remind friends (in person and through social media) that I appreciate them.  Sometimes at work I randomly leave little silly notes for a few coworkers, just to get them to laugh.  I love to torture my sister with corny Haiku poems or scribbles on napkins that say “TAG you’re it”.  It’s a treat to see how the smallest of gestures can have an impact on people.

The saying “It’s the thought that counts” means a lot to me. Communicating with others in a positive way matters because words have power and meaning.  I bet Sammy the Seagull didn’t know how it affected my day.  Thanks for the note, Sammy.  I’ll see you and your cousins on my next walk.